My difficulties in learning the English language

I’ve always wanted to know how to write and speak accurately in English for I see that it is cool to be good at the language. That is why, I do the things that my teachers advise me to observe at all times should I want to be proficient at the subject. However, despite how I try to do the “rituals” and persevere as they always say, I still continue to stumble in both writing and speaking the language.

In writing, I have hard time in constructing my paragraphs. I have difficulties on what I should fill in my composition. It is not because I know nothing about what I am supposed to write but perhaps it is something on the coherence of the paragraphs that I mind most of the time. I often end up with a composition which paragraphs do really not stick to each other; that is, the flow of my paragraphs and even my sentences is not that smooth for my readers to easily grasp what I am trying to say. There is also a problem on the unity of my compositions. Most of my writings do not talk about one main idea. My sentences ramify to different directions. It seems that whenever I try to write, my pen appears to have a mind of its own that it writes everything even though it has nothing to do with my topic. Lastly, the worst thing that I am very much worried about when it comes to writing is with regards on the syntax. It is quite pathetic to know that at this age, I still have no mastery on grammar. Consequently, I often end up with sentences that are very ungrammatical, not to mention the spelling of the words and even the punctuation marks that I often miss out.

Similarly, speaking English is as difficult as putting the language on the paper. Just like in writing, I also have hard time in speaking or communicating through the language. Sometimes, I find it inefficient to communicate through it. I can construct a message in my mind and I can somehow speak it out through English but the problem is that my listeners can hardly understand what I am trying to say. Perhaps it is because I am not that good in pronouncing the words or maybe there is really an awry with how I construct my sentences and that my listeners find it very confusing to interpret. Whatever the reason is, I am certain that I really need to improve or maybe develop an ability in communicating with English as a medium.

Indeed there are really a lot of problems that I need to hurdle over before I can say that I am already a good language user. These obstacles are really tough ones that when I look at it, I somehow feel daunted. But whenever I see the doors of opportunities that will be opened to me if I have this capability in exploiting the language, I somehow regain the faith of not stumbling in this battle and I even feel the urge of expending more effort in order to do a lot greater. After all, there is no certainty of what this life will be leading to. Who knows, one day, you might see me writing articles on newspapers or even speaking before a crowd.